what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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