just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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