She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I want is dick and wine.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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