The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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