shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
