don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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