just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
