the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize