and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
