You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
