Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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