I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i came on her dog
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
