all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
