So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
