"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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