Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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