OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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