yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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