oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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