just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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