and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
