Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I faked an abortion last night.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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