Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
