I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
