Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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