My room smells like vodka and shame
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
