Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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