worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
