Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize