I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
