just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I smell stomach acid.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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