Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
