if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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