This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
