you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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