I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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