I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize