I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
