I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He has the fingertips of a God
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