You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
