I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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