You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
