i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
