you guys were way drunker than both of me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
