Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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