There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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