If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
