shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
