hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
