So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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