ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there was a trapeze. enough said
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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