Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
