So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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