yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Its about making memories worth repressing
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
