Already got asked if we're dating
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
