I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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