I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
